Post by Jeni on Jul 4, 2014 22:33:10 GMT -6
[11:03] -- firebugEccentric [FE] began trolling dominoHarlequin [DH] at 23:03 --
[11:05] FE: ~{Hello human... I would like to request that you set yourself on fire...}~
[11:05] FE: ~{And then promptly tell me what happens when you do...}~
[11:05] DH: done
[11:06] FE: ~{... Really...?}~
[11:06] DH: i am very hot
[11:06] DH: but unrelated to that i am also on fire
[11:06] DH: wow im on fire
[11:06] DH: oh it burns
[11:06] FE: ~{What is very hot for a human...?}~
[11:06] FE: ~{Please tell me quantitatively...}~
[11:07] DH: oh no man i cant talk right now with how on fire my hands are
[11:07] DH: im lucky i bathed in asbestos today or id probably be dead
[11:08] FE: ~{If you bathed in asbestos I do not think being on fire is the biggest of your concerns actually...}~
[11:08] FE: ~{Wait... You are talking currently...}~
[11:08] FE: ~{You are dodging my inquiries and impeding my data collection...}~
[11:09] DH: hey man i am 100% helping the scientific process
[11:09] DH: by being so overwhelmingly on fire right now
[11:09] FE: ~{That may be... But you are not providing data on the overhwleming fire process...}~
[11:09] DH: hey man you gotta guide me with more precise questions and shit
[11:10] FE: ~{I asked you to quantify how very hot you were...!}~
[11:10] FE: ~{I believe that to be a precise question...}~
[11:10] FE: ~{Which you did not answer...}~
[11:10] FE: ~{I might add...}~
[11:10] DH: okay im like
[11:10] DH: johnny depp hot
[11:10] DH: but not quite meghan fox hot
[11:11] FE: ~{I do not think you know the diference between quantitative and qualitative...}~
[11:11] FE: ~{These are definitely qualitative parameters...}~
[11:11] DH: you tell me
[11:11] DH: ive failed every science class ive set foot in for three years running
[11:12] FE: ~{Your human education seems quite pathetic... But fine... I shall take pity on you...}~
[11:12] FE: ~{Qualitative uses qualities... Like your strange human celebrities...}~
[11:12] FE: ~{I would like quantitative... That uses numbers and is much more useful...}~
[11:13] FE: ~{And I would like you to be useful... If you went through the trouble of setting yourself aflame anyway...}~
[11:14] DH: okay like
[11:14] DH: fifty billion degrees then
[11:14] FE: ~{That is not possible no matter what scale you are utilizing...}~
[11:14] FE: ~{I do not think you are very helpful...}~
[11:14] DH: wait i know
[11:14] DH: i could give you like
[11:14] DH: the experience of being on fire
[11:15] FE: ~{How do you mean...? I assure you I already have that first-hand experience...}~
[11:15] DH: i will narrate
[11:15] DH: you ready
[11:15] DH: too bad here it comes
[11:15] DH: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhh
[11:15] DH: jlfksjfsjfks
[11:15] DH: auauuauuauuagh
[11:15] DH: oh god it hurts
[11:15] DH: my nipples are on fire oh god
[11:15] DH: ahkhfaf such fire wow
[11:15] FE: ~{...}~
[11:16] FE: ~{Now see that could have been helpful but then you were willfully not helpful...}~
[11:16] FE: ~{Why are you so willfully unhelpful...}~
[11:17] FE: ~{I was going to feel bad that I convinced a human to die by fire...}~
[11:17] FE: ~{I am not going to feel bad anymore...}~
[11:17] DH: yeah man i am so dying right now
[11:17] DH: luckily when humans die by being set on fire we are reborn motherfuckin phoenix style
[11:18] FE: ~{I... do not know if I should believe you...}~
[11:18] DH: 100% true man
[11:18] DH: were just a race of seamonkey phoenixes
[11:18] FE: ~{Would not being sumberged counteract the process of rising from the ashes...?}~
[11:18] FE: ~{This does not seem very sound...}~
[11:19] FE: ~{Explain to me how this works... }~
[11:19] DH: well you see
[11:19] DH: the fire burns away the outer shell
[11:20] DH: and we have to wash it away once its all burned up
[11:20] DH: very scientifically sount
[11:20] DH: sound even
[11:20] FE: ~{You would have to be very massive for that to work repeatedly... And eventually you would become microscopic...}~
[11:21] FE: ~{Are you microscopic...?}~
[11:21] FE: ~{How many times hve you died...?}~
[11:21] DH: like thirty seven
[11:21] DH: man dont ask me i am not a scientist
[11:22] FE: ~{And what size are you currently...?}~
[11:22] DH: how am i supposed to know if im microscopic
[11:22] FE: ~{I would think even a non-scientist would keep track fo how many times they have died...!}~
[11:23] DH: hey man its a very traumatic thing to remember
[11:23] FE: ~{You do not seem very affected currently...}~
[11:24] DH: this is only the first stage obviously
[11:24] DH: its a very complicated process
[11:24] DH: it might take weeks
[11:25] FE: ~{That seems like an inefficient way to die... The fire is not going to last that long...}~
[11:25] FE: ~{Which reminds me... Are you still aflame...?}~
[11:25] DH: uh yeah totally
[11:25] DH: aaaa it burns
[11:25] FE: ~{... Did you forget you were on fire...?}~
[11:26] DH: i have no idea what youre talking about
[11:26] DH: how could i forget that im on fire
[11:26] DH: because im totally on fire
[11:27] FE: ~{Describe the flames to me...}~
[11:27] FE: ~{You were so quick to narrate before... Please enlighten me once more... You can be qualitative this time...}~
[11:27] DH: uh okay well
[11:27] DH: the flames burn like someones crotch in a bad fanfiction
[11:27] DH: they are all firey and shit
[11:28] FE: ~{Is it normal for your human crotches to burn...?}~
[11:28] DH: yeah when we reproduce we shoot streams of pure propane out of our junk
[11:28] DH: a few stray sparks here and there are nothing out of the ordinary
[11:29] DH: very dangerous
[11:29] FE: ~{I... do not think I needed that infiremation...}~
[11:29] DH: very risky
[11:29] DH: yeah you did
[11:29] DH: you know for science
[11:30] FE: ~{I am not interested in the science of your human reproduction...}~
[11:30] FE: ~{That is not my science and I do not want it...}~
[11:30] DH: karen was
[11:30] DH: are you being a science elitist
[11:30] DH: you sciensist
[11:31] FE: ~{I... }~
[11:32] FE: ~{There is nothing wrong with biology... Karran researching it is important... Probably...}~
[11:32] FE: ~{But I do not choose to focus on it...}~
[11:32] FE: ~{There is nothing wrong with that...!}~
[11:32] DH: well to be frank i dont give a fuck what karen does
[11:32] DH: chill
[11:32] DH: do what i cant
[11:32] DH: because im on fire
[11:34] FE: ~{If what you said is true you will be fine shortly... So forgive me if I do not feel badly for your inability to chill...}~
[11:34] DH: gosh
[11:34] DH: tell me to set myself on fire for science
[11:34] DH: then you dont even care about my wellbeing
[11:35] DH: am i just a lab rat to you
[11:35] DH: i thought what we had was special
[11:35] DH: person whose name i dont know
[11:35] DH: and have never met before tonight
[11:35] FE: ~{I am very fond of lab rats... So I do not appreciate the 'just'...}~
[11:35] FE: ~{... But that is true I do not know your name either...}~
[11:36] FE: ~{So I suppose it was rather nice of you to set yourself on fire for me anyway... If somewhat stupid...}~
[11:36] FE: ~{And IF you actually did it...}~
[11:36] DH: are you doubting me
[11:37] FE: ~{Yes...}~
[11:37] FE: ~{I am very much doubting you...}~
[11:38] DH: gimme like two minutes
[11:39] DH: [[file sent: undeniable proof.jpg]]
[11:39] FE: ~{... }~
[11:39] FE: ~{Well I will give you one thing...}~
[11:39] FE: ~{I have never seen two-dimensional fire before...}~
[11:40] DH: earths atmosphere is very strange
[11:40] FE: ~{It is very opaque fire as well... And does not seem to be affecting your body whatsoever...}~
[11:40] FE: ~{My conclusion is thus this...}~
[11:40] FE: ~{You are completely full of it...}~
[11:40] DH: if by it you mean fire
[11:40] DH: then yes
[11:42] FE: ~{You set yourself ON fire...! Not FULL of fire...! Of course I do not mean fire when I say it...!}~
[11:42] DH: then what do you mean when you say fire
[11:42] DH: if not it
[11:42] DH: if you say fire then i assume you mean it
[11:43] FE: ~{I do not think you are half so buffoonish as you are presenting yourself to be... So I think you very clearly know what I mean...}~
[11:44] DH: hey man do not doubt how buffoonish i can be
[11:44] DH: i have reached new tiers of buffoonery
[11:44] DH: forging new frontiers
[11:45] DH: but yeah okay whatever you caught me i am not on fire
[11:45] FE: ~{I do not doubt your ability to be buffoonish... I merely doubt that it is genuine buffoonery...}~
[11:46] FE: ~{Thank you for finally being honest at any rate... Even though this means you were completely useless from start to finish...}~
[11:46] DH: id hate to disappoint
[11:47] DH: so whats even your name though
[11:48] FE: ~{... I am concerned as to why you want this infiremation but...}~
[11:48] FE: ~{It is Aithne...}~
[11:49] DH: okay
[11:49] DH: athiest
[11:49] DH: atheist
[11:49] DH: got it
[11:49] FE: ~{... no}~
[11:49] DH: yes
[11:49] FE: ~{No you do not got it...}~
[11:49] FE: ~{It is Aithne... Not Atheist...}~
[11:49] DH: aintheist
[11:49] FE: ~{I am confused as to how you can confuse this... It is literally right in front of you...}~
[11:49] FE: ~{It is right... there...}~
[11:49] DH: gloria
[11:51] FE: ~{...}~
[11:51] -- firebugEccentric [FE] gave up trolling dominoHarlequin [DH] at 23:51 --
[11:05] FE: ~{Hello human... I would like to request that you set yourself on fire...}~
[11:05] FE: ~{And then promptly tell me what happens when you do...}~
[11:05] DH: done
[11:06] FE: ~{... Really...?}~
[11:06] DH: i am very hot
[11:06] DH: but unrelated to that i am also on fire
[11:06] DH: wow im on fire
[11:06] DH: oh it burns
[11:06] FE: ~{What is very hot for a human...?}~
[11:06] FE: ~{Please tell me quantitatively...}~
[11:07] DH: oh no man i cant talk right now with how on fire my hands are
[11:07] DH: im lucky i bathed in asbestos today or id probably be dead
[11:08] FE: ~{If you bathed in asbestos I do not think being on fire is the biggest of your concerns actually...}~
[11:08] FE: ~{Wait... You are talking currently...}~
[11:08] FE: ~{You are dodging my inquiries and impeding my data collection...}~
[11:09] DH: hey man i am 100% helping the scientific process
[11:09] DH: by being so overwhelmingly on fire right now
[11:09] FE: ~{That may be... But you are not providing data on the overhwleming fire process...}~
[11:09] DH: hey man you gotta guide me with more precise questions and shit
[11:10] FE: ~{I asked you to quantify how very hot you were...!}~
[11:10] FE: ~{I believe that to be a precise question...}~
[11:10] FE: ~{Which you did not answer...}~
[11:10] FE: ~{I might add...}~
[11:10] DH: okay im like
[11:10] DH: johnny depp hot
[11:10] DH: but not quite meghan fox hot
[11:11] FE: ~{I do not think you know the diference between quantitative and qualitative...}~
[11:11] FE: ~{These are definitely qualitative parameters...}~
[11:11] DH: you tell me
[11:11] DH: ive failed every science class ive set foot in for three years running
[11:12] FE: ~{Your human education seems quite pathetic... But fine... I shall take pity on you...}~
[11:12] FE: ~{Qualitative uses qualities... Like your strange human celebrities...}~
[11:12] FE: ~{I would like quantitative... That uses numbers and is much more useful...}~
[11:13] FE: ~{And I would like you to be useful... If you went through the trouble of setting yourself aflame anyway...}~
[11:14] DH: okay like
[11:14] DH: fifty billion degrees then
[11:14] FE: ~{That is not possible no matter what scale you are utilizing...}~
[11:14] FE: ~{I do not think you are very helpful...}~
[11:14] DH: wait i know
[11:14] DH: i could give you like
[11:14] DH: the experience of being on fire
[11:15] FE: ~{How do you mean...? I assure you I already have that first-hand experience...}~
[11:15] DH: i will narrate
[11:15] DH: you ready
[11:15] DH: too bad here it comes
[11:15] DH: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhh
[11:15] DH: jlfksjfsjfks
[11:15] DH: auauuauuauuagh
[11:15] DH: oh god it hurts
[11:15] DH: my nipples are on fire oh god
[11:15] DH: ahkhfaf such fire wow
[11:15] FE: ~{...}~
[11:16] FE: ~{Now see that could have been helpful but then you were willfully not helpful...}~
[11:16] FE: ~{Why are you so willfully unhelpful...}~
[11:17] FE: ~{I was going to feel bad that I convinced a human to die by fire...}~
[11:17] FE: ~{I am not going to feel bad anymore...}~
[11:17] DH: yeah man i am so dying right now
[11:17] DH: luckily when humans die by being set on fire we are reborn motherfuckin phoenix style
[11:18] FE: ~{I... do not know if I should believe you...}~
[11:18] DH: 100% true man
[11:18] DH: were just a race of seamonkey phoenixes
[11:18] FE: ~{Would not being sumberged counteract the process of rising from the ashes...?}~
[11:18] FE: ~{This does not seem very sound...}~
[11:19] FE: ~{Explain to me how this works... }~
[11:19] DH: well you see
[11:19] DH: the fire burns away the outer shell
[11:20] DH: and we have to wash it away once its all burned up
[11:20] DH: very scientifically sount
[11:20] DH: sound even
[11:20] FE: ~{You would have to be very massive for that to work repeatedly... And eventually you would become microscopic...}~
[11:21] FE: ~{Are you microscopic...?}~
[11:21] FE: ~{How many times hve you died...?}~
[11:21] DH: like thirty seven
[11:21] DH: man dont ask me i am not a scientist
[11:22] FE: ~{And what size are you currently...?}~
[11:22] DH: how am i supposed to know if im microscopic
[11:22] FE: ~{I would think even a non-scientist would keep track fo how many times they have died...!}~
[11:23] DH: hey man its a very traumatic thing to remember
[11:23] FE: ~{You do not seem very affected currently...}~
[11:24] DH: this is only the first stage obviously
[11:24] DH: its a very complicated process
[11:24] DH: it might take weeks
[11:25] FE: ~{That seems like an inefficient way to die... The fire is not going to last that long...}~
[11:25] FE: ~{Which reminds me... Are you still aflame...?}~
[11:25] DH: uh yeah totally
[11:25] DH: aaaa it burns
[11:25] FE: ~{... Did you forget you were on fire...?}~
[11:26] DH: i have no idea what youre talking about
[11:26] DH: how could i forget that im on fire
[11:26] DH: because im totally on fire
[11:27] FE: ~{Describe the flames to me...}~
[11:27] FE: ~{You were so quick to narrate before... Please enlighten me once more... You can be qualitative this time...}~
[11:27] DH: uh okay well
[11:27] DH: the flames burn like someones crotch in a bad fanfiction
[11:27] DH: they are all firey and shit
[11:28] FE: ~{Is it normal for your human crotches to burn...?}~
[11:28] DH: yeah when we reproduce we shoot streams of pure propane out of our junk
[11:28] DH: a few stray sparks here and there are nothing out of the ordinary
[11:29] DH: very dangerous
[11:29] FE: ~{I... do not think I needed that infiremation...}~
[11:29] DH: very risky
[11:29] DH: yeah you did
[11:29] DH: you know for science
[11:30] FE: ~{I am not interested in the science of your human reproduction...}~
[11:30] FE: ~{That is not my science and I do not want it...}~
[11:30] DH: karen was
[11:30] DH: are you being a science elitist
[11:30] DH: you sciensist
[11:31] FE: ~{I... }~
[11:32] FE: ~{There is nothing wrong with biology... Karran researching it is important... Probably...}~
[11:32] FE: ~{But I do not choose to focus on it...}~
[11:32] FE: ~{There is nothing wrong with that...!}~
[11:32] DH: well to be frank i dont give a fuck what karen does
[11:32] DH: chill
[11:32] DH: do what i cant
[11:32] DH: because im on fire
[11:34] FE: ~{If what you said is true you will be fine shortly... So forgive me if I do not feel badly for your inability to chill...}~
[11:34] DH: gosh
[11:34] DH: tell me to set myself on fire for science
[11:34] DH: then you dont even care about my wellbeing
[11:35] DH: am i just a lab rat to you
[11:35] DH: i thought what we had was special
[11:35] DH: person whose name i dont know
[11:35] DH: and have never met before tonight
[11:35] FE: ~{I am very fond of lab rats... So I do not appreciate the 'just'...}~
[11:35] FE: ~{... But that is true I do not know your name either...}~
[11:36] FE: ~{So I suppose it was rather nice of you to set yourself on fire for me anyway... If somewhat stupid...}~
[11:36] FE: ~{And IF you actually did it...}~
[11:36] DH: are you doubting me
[11:37] FE: ~{Yes...}~
[11:37] FE: ~{I am very much doubting you...}~
[11:38] DH: gimme like two minutes
[11:39] DH: [[file sent: undeniable proof.jpg]]
[11:39] FE: ~{... }~
[11:39] FE: ~{Well I will give you one thing...}~
[11:39] FE: ~{I have never seen two-dimensional fire before...}~
[11:40] DH: earths atmosphere is very strange
[11:40] FE: ~{It is very opaque fire as well... And does not seem to be affecting your body whatsoever...}~
[11:40] FE: ~{My conclusion is thus this...}~
[11:40] FE: ~{You are completely full of it...}~
[11:40] DH: if by it you mean fire
[11:40] DH: then yes
[11:42] FE: ~{You set yourself ON fire...! Not FULL of fire...! Of course I do not mean fire when I say it...!}~
[11:42] DH: then what do you mean when you say fire
[11:42] DH: if not it
[11:42] DH: if you say fire then i assume you mean it
[11:43] FE: ~{I do not think you are half so buffoonish as you are presenting yourself to be... So I think you very clearly know what I mean...}~
[11:44] DH: hey man do not doubt how buffoonish i can be
[11:44] DH: i have reached new tiers of buffoonery
[11:44] DH: forging new frontiers
[11:45] DH: but yeah okay whatever you caught me i am not on fire
[11:45] FE: ~{I do not doubt your ability to be buffoonish... I merely doubt that it is genuine buffoonery...}~
[11:46] FE: ~{Thank you for finally being honest at any rate... Even though this means you were completely useless from start to finish...}~
[11:46] DH: id hate to disappoint
[11:47] DH: so whats even your name though
[11:48] FE: ~{... I am concerned as to why you want this infiremation but...}~
[11:48] FE: ~{It is Aithne...}~
[11:49] DH: okay
[11:49] DH: athiest
[11:49] DH: atheist
[11:49] DH: got it
[11:49] FE: ~{... no}~
[11:49] DH: yes
[11:49] FE: ~{No you do not got it...}~
[11:49] FE: ~{It is Aithne... Not Atheist...}~
[11:49] DH: aintheist
[11:49] FE: ~{I am confused as to how you can confuse this... It is literally right in front of you...}~
[11:49] FE: ~{It is right... there...}~
[11:49] DH: gloria
[11:51] FE: ~{...}~
[11:51] -- firebugEccentric [FE] gave up trolling dominoHarlequin [DH] at 23:51 --